6/20

It's over
finished
completed
she said
with a slight nod
and turn of the head
its wrapped itself up
and it's time to go
I'm leaving tomorrow
but my heart doesn't know

What God Has to Say About My Realism

look at what God showed me in response to my email last night:

Jeremiah 12

Jeremiah is complaining about evil people prospering. He says,"Righteous are you, O Lord, when I complain to you; yet I would plead my case before you." I like this because he recognizes that God is righteous, and deals righteously with his people, but he still makes his complaint known and questions God. So i can fully know that God is righteous and sovereign, but i can still have complaints and questions! and i can still bring them before God: He can handle them (ie: Job).

God answers: "If you have raced with men on foot, and they have wearied you, how will you compete with horses? And if in a safe land you are so trusting, what will you do in the thicket of the Jordan?"In this context, God is responding to wicked and treacherous people, but i think it still applies to me because i made some complaints to God: the culture is wearing me out! and God is saying, if you are growing weary in this safe YWAM environment where your race is with men (teaching a class, running with endurance with people of a different culture) how much more will you get tired when i put you somewhere unsafe, racing against spiritual battles?

He's also giving Jeremiah street smarts: stop being so trusting! use you're discernment! stop putting yourself in a position to be tricked and disappointed. He says that even Jeremiah's own household has dealt treacherously with him. God is telling me to stop putting myself in a position to be dissapointed by man, stop expecting everyone to be good, stop giving my trust where it is not due (such as, expecting people to follow through in a Western manner when I am in AFRICA! or feeling dissapointed when my students don't understand but their education level is so completely different).

then God goes on to tell Jeremiah His plan and how He will deal righteously with these people. God sees it all, He equips us to deal with all situations and people, and then He deals righteously with it.

Amen?
Amen.

A little Realism from Africa

hello friends,

I hope everything is going well at home! I'm excited to be back in California in less than two weeks! My mind is becoming more and more aware that my time here is coming to an end and that i will be home soon, so i am starting to have one foot in Africa and one foot on the plane home. Pray for endurance, perseverance, and patience to finish the race that i started!

This weekend i had a fun adventure. My friend Edward went running one day and came upon a country club that some Westerners opened here in Arusha. He ended up meeting people who bought him food, drove him home, invited him to their houses, and one even leant him her car one weekend! He came back raving about this place, how he sat in the restaraunt for hours and watched football and so on. Needless to say we all wanted to go. So on Saturday Edward, Hannah, Stephanie and I set out to the country club! It ended up being an hour long walk across fields, winding through coffee plantations and climbing over things. But then we came to a clearing and there was a huge manicured grass field, then a huge club at the end! We sat in the restaraunt for four hours and talked and watched tv and ate and ate and drank coffee and juice and soda. it was so nice! (especially nice since our money goes so far in Africa). it was a nice break from serving on the base (;

my students are working on researching their topics this week for the final presentation. i think i am taking on A LOT in teaching them how to do a researched presentation, so pray for me! the project is stuff we learn in third or fourth grade in America so it seemed really easy and doable to me. but the idea of taking notes, using google on the internet, writing down three sources, making an outline, is all brand new to them! and paired with doing it all in English it is especially hard. i think they will learn a lot by the end, but i'm not sure if i will still have any hair or finger nails. when I lived in Heidelberg, Germany i had do a researched presentation on a topic of my choice and it was really hard. i did it on Marlene Deitrich, a German movie star from the 20s that i like, but it was challenging to translate my whole talk into German. and that was an advanced college level course. so i have to keep reminding myself that this stuff is challenging.

I have been told that around the three month mark in a foreign country people start to have a harder time with the culture. when i first came to Tanzania everything was new and exciting and i was able to accept cultural differences more easily because i had fresh coping skills. now my coping skills have been worn down a bit and because i am coming home soon i find myself not trying as hard. i think this is important to share with you all so you know that missionaries are not immune to cultural challenges! being a missionary is not one long spiritual high, it is also coping every day in a different country: the food, the people, the smells, the systems, the ways of thinking. God is fully capable and still works within our weaknesses and short comings, but it is challenging to serve in a different country.

So my message to the future up-and-coming missionaries: being frustrated with a different culture is normal, but what you do with that frustration is up to you. bring it to God and be positive. Don't focus on the negative frustrations. Don't let Satan build a wall in your ministry. have a realistic mindset in going to the new country, that there will be good AND bad things, and that God is bigger than both of them.

this may be more of a message to myself than to you guys, but hopefully it will have some helpful insight into serving in other countries.

be blessed this week!
Christina

Compassion International, Testimonies, and a little Lucado

June 6, 2007

Dear everybody!

I forgot to share with you in my last email that I visited a Compassion International school on Saturday. One of my student's, Visitor, is a social worker for a Compassion Int'l branch here in Arusha (actually right down the street from our base) and she invited me to come. A group of four of us went and got to participate in the day and get a tour of the school. I was so impressed! The day began with a worship service in the sanctuary. The room was packed with the kids and staff. The kids range from 6 to 17 years old. They all wear green uniforms: light green blouses, dark green sweaters, and green/beige pants or skirts. (All the school children in Tanzania wear school uniforms that distinguish what class level they are.) The students sat on wood benches forming rows in the sanctuary, all in matching uniforms, the younger children in the front, and the older children in the back. During worship they closed their eyes and raised their hands, and when they prayed they got down on their knees by their benches and prayed outloud all at once. They really had genuine hearts seeking after God!

Since I was a visitor they asked me to speak (this is a common trend in Africa!). I was very excited for this, because God has really been developing within me a deep heart for children in the past year. I got to share with them how much God loves them, how He always made time for the children even when there were other ministries to attend to, and how children are a reflection of God's heart and purity. Then I got to tell them that God calls people when they are young! I asked if everyone knew this, and some said yes and said NO! So I told them how God called Jeremiah when he was young, and said that He was going to use him and give him authority over nations and words to say. I told them God called me when i was eleven, and had all the eleven year olds raise their hands. They looked so small! I told them when I was eleven i never would have imagined I would be here in Africa with all them. And that God can do the same thing for each of them! He can call them at a young age and do great things in their lives. And finally, God tells us to not look down on people because they are young! I told them God can use them to speak truth to adults. Some of them looked pretty shocked at this idea (: So, I was so blessed to get to talk to all their bright faces and squirmy bodies (let's face it, if you talk for more than 5 minutes you lose over half your audience who is under 8). It was also a blessing to me because Visitor translated my talk into English, and she did such a good job.

After worship the students went to their bible classes, then had skills workshops. They had workshops for tailoring, knitting, carpentary, and art. These workshops help prepare them for jobs after they have finished their education. I thought this was a phenomenal idea.

Also, the students spend a day once a month fasting for their sponsors!! And they always pray for their sponsors during worship time together. Some sponsors share personal testimonies with their child, and the children are so excited to share about them with the whole group. They are also eager to share prayer needs their sponsors tell them about. How great is that?

I think the students are so aware that it is a privelege to be there. They don't live at the school, so they are still very aware of the environment they are coming from. They are also receiving so much help and nurture from the school. So I am now a firm advocate of Compassion International!

Today in class we opened up our worship/intercession time for students to share their testimonies, or a testimony of something God is doing in their life, and every single person shared something! In English! A couple people shared about God recently healing them or their family members, how they became Christians, stories about their background, a meaningful verse, and so on. It was so encouraging. During one of the testimonies God allowed me to stumble upon this verse: "And they have conquered him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony, for they loved not their lives even unto death" Revelations 12:11. This verse is in reference to Satan and his angels being thrown out of heaven onto the earth. It reminded us that there is so much power in our testimonies! That when we verbalize, and proclaim, what God has done in our lives, the darkness shudders and is cast out! When God touches our life, we can then share it and touch 20 lives in turn. Sharing our testimonies is a way for us to share God's testimony, to come back to what He has done: covered our lives with the blood of the Lamb. And it is a way to conquer the darkness.

I especially liked a story that Becka shared:

Before coming to Arusha Becka and her husband, Chris, spent time doing ministry in Brundi. One day they were walking through town and a little boy came up to her and grabbed her hand. He had wounds on his head, and his clothes were so dirty she couldn't even recongize what color they were. He asked her for money, which is extremely common for street children to do. Most people assume that white people are loaded, and the children are so aggressive in asking for money, that we have learned to ignore and not even acknowledge them. But Becka looked down at him and asked him what his name was. His attitude immediately changed. He saw that she was interested in him. He looked straight at her and asked, "Am I good?" He wanted to know if he was a good person. He wanted affirmation in his being. He wanted to know if he was ok. His wounds were exposed, dirt was covering his body so that his identity was barely visible, and he was small and alone. Becka got down and told him yes, he was good, and gave him a hug.

He proceded to follow her through town, and when she got to the market she bought him bread. He sat down right where he was and ate it.

Isn't this what God does with us? We ask for things that provide for our immediate or temporary needs, but God is only interested in who we are: our identity in His love for us. He shows us that he cares about us. He sees past our situation and reaches to the core issue. We come before him covered in the dust of our sin and shame. Our wounds of dissapointment, discouragement, brokeness, and any number of things, are exposed to Him. And we just want to know, "Am I good? Am I worthy? Am I ok? Do you still love me?" And God wraps His arms around us, draws us near, and says "YES! You are worthy, you are good, you are ok, because I have redeemed you with my blood." Isn't this the heart of our Father? And then he provides for us, takes care of our needs, but his bread is the bread of life.

It's so great teaching with someone that I can learn so much from! It is also such a blessing that Becka could have that experience and glean spiritual truths from it. Bravo Becka.

And in conclusion, I just finished my first Max Lucado book and I am wondering why this was my first Lucado book. It was amazing! Here are some truths I wanted to record and pass onto you:

Pray all the time. If necessary, use words.
Sacrilege is to feel guilt for sins forgiven.
God forgets the past. Imitate Him.
Greed I've often regretted. Generosity—never.
Never miss a chance to read a child a story.
Pursue forgiveness, not innocence.
Be doubly kind to the people who bring your food or park your car.
In buying a gift for your wife, practicality can be more expensive than extravagance.
Don't ask God to do what you want. Ask God to do what is right.
Nails didn't hold God to a cross. Love did.
You'll give up on yourself before God will.
Know answered prayer when you see it, and don't give up when you don't.
Flattery is fancy dishonesty.
The right heart with the wrong creed is better than the right creed with the wrong heart.
We treat others as we perceive God is treating us.
Sometimes the most godly thing we can do is take a day off.
Faith in the future begets power in the present.
No one is useless to God. No one.
Conflict is inevitable, but combat is optional.
You will never forgive anyone more than God has already forgiven you.
Succeed in what matters.
You'll regret opening your mouth. You'll rarely regret keeping it shut.
To see sin without grace is despair. To see grace without sin is arrogrance. To see them in tandem is conversion.
Faith is the grit in the soul that puts the dare into dreams.
God doesn't keep a clock.
Never underestimate a gesture of affection.
When Jesus went home, he left the front door open.
And to sum it up:
As soon as you can, pay your debts.
As long as you can, give the benefit of the doubt.
As much as you can, give thanks. He's already give us more than we deserve.

Lucado, Max. When God Whispers Your Name. Dallas: Word Publishing, 1994 (43-44).

Cakey-Oh-Cakey

hello everyone!

first off, i got my dates mixed up and i actually have a little less than three weeks left! i'm feeling a bit relieved because two weeks didn't sound like enough time!

special guest night on wednesday went really well. Judy came and talked about HIV/AIDS. She organized her talk by defining HIV/AIDS and it's origin, discussing causes/preventions, explaining symptoms, ways to care for AIDS patients while taking precautions for your own health, and our attitudes/mindsets towards people infected with the disease. She was very open in her talk and gave people the chance to ask questions. At the end she urged the class that now that they have this information they will be held accountable to taking precautions in their lives and educating the people around them. I was very pleased with how it went. it was funny how awkward parts of the lecture were, and we were grown people!

on friday we had our second test and workshops. the scores on the test were a wider range than the first and were a better reflection of where people are in their learning. the workshops were amazing! my group baked a cake and then our whole class ate it in the evening. it was everyone's first time baking a cake, and i had adult women with families in my group! so that was a blessing. when we ate it together they sang "the cake song" which is a Swahili song about a cake! it was priceless! it basically goes, "Cakey-Oh-Cakey" with lots of dancing and motioning to the cake. Claude's group made their classroom into a business import/export office. one side called in orders and the other received orders and mailed them off. and the third group did preaching and got really relevant vocab and Bible verses.

On Sunday i went to a church that two of my students go to. the UK DTS team preached and lead the service. it was a lot of fun watching the team instead of being involved with it. it gave me a chance to experience what it is like to be ministered to by a visiting outreach team. it was great! it really felt like something special and out of the ordinary. it encouraged me in doing outreaches, that they do bless the people on the receiving end (at least it blessed me!).

on the subject of cakes, all the kids on the base ask me "when is your happy birthday?" they never separate happy from birthday.

three of my friends just got back from climbing Mount Kilimanjaro! they said it rained a lot but was amazing. it took them 7 days to climb up and 2 days to hike down.

other news, i have a cold. so please pray that it will go away quickly. it's already improved since yesterday but it's still in me. not fun. also pray for me as i get everything organized for Becka since i'm leaving a week earlier than her. pray that i will get all the grades situated and loose ends in order.

i hope you are all doing very well! God bless,
Christina

I am going to miss Africa!

hello friends, family, prayer warriors,

i can't believe my time here is almost over! i only have three weeks left! i'm excited to come home to see all of you, especially my family, and to have good food again, consistently hot showers, a car, easy trips to the supermarket, trips to target where i can get almost everything in one stop, conversations in English without language confusion, going outside without being called "Mzungu" twenty million times, and being able to do things by myself without comprimising my safety!

But i am going to miss so deeply the friendships i have made here, the fellowship, the opportunities to disciple and preach, the colors of Africa, the wide open spaces of land, the singing and dancing, the everyday growth and learning, the children, the fields and trees and mountains, the sense of adventure everytime I go off base, the ways i have been discipled by people on base, the hospitality, the slower pace, and the willingness to care for one another and take time for one another.

I pray that I will successfully bring home some of the cultural things i have learned here. that i will be able to integrate healthier approaches to life that i've learned from Africa: that i don't have to frantically accomplish a list of ten million things in one day. that i can invite people into my home and serve them even when i am struggling to provide for myself, and i will be blessed by the interaction. that i can exercise patience and grace with people (because the situation probably doesn't even compare to the patience i've had to exercise in Africa!!!). that i can appreciate speaking the same language as people, and i can take advantage of sharing Christ's love when the language isn't preventing communication. that i can appreciate the things i do have. i can appreciate the economy i live in at home, and instead of feeling guilty or ashamed or greedy, i can feel thankful and humbled by God's provision in my life. that i can allow every aspect of my life to proclaim Jesus and not have to water it down to fit in socially or with my culture, because in Africa i have had the freedom to make Christ my whole identity.

i am already praying about reintegrating into life at home, because i know coming back is always challenging. if God puts that on your heart, please pray for me as well.

Please also pray for tonight! i am having Judy, the administrative director's wife, teach on HIV/AIDS/STDS during our special guest night. I am so excited for this. this has been a big issue on my heart in coming to Tanzania, so i am glad that i can address it with my class. it is very hard for people to talk openly about private things, such as sexual activity, here in Africa, so pray that people wouldn't feel embarassed to ask questions or really listen to the talk.

also on Friday we have our second test, as well as workshops on preaching, cooking, and business/selling. we have three different speakers coming to teach vocabulary, give verses, and pratical application to help equip them for a skill in English. i'm really excited for the cooking workshop because we are going to bake a cake, and homemade cakes in Africa are really the best i've ever had (this is one food area i will actually miss!). Baba Zulu will be teaching on preaching, and he is amazing. And Claude will be leading the business workshop, which is such a great opportunity for one of my student's to use his gifts and step up to a challenge. he's also been filling in for becka these past two days!

i started making the website for ESL missionary teachers, so continue to pray for that. pray that i will organize it clearly and have creative inspiration in the materials i include!

i hope you are all doing very well, that God is blessing you today, and that you are feeling encouraged in His presence. Everyone that sees my mom and dad in San Diego give them a hug for me, and make a point of saying hi to parker (:,

much love from Africa,
Christina